Inclusivity in the Wedding Industry : Why It's Important + 10 Things You Can Do

With the resurgence of the Black Lives Matter movement and the end of Pride Month I feel it is important to address the issue of representation that has been on my mind for a long time.

First of all, this is absolutely not some kind of attack on the wedding industry. I love all my couples! I love my peers. Most of them are great people, and I do not believe what I am going to discuss is intentional for most people and I recognize that I am just as guilty of this as well.

Lack of Representation + Inclusivity

This really came to me from doing wedding shows in the past. I’ve had multiple same-sex couples tell me that I was the only one displaying an image of a same-sex couple at my booth or on my website. I was once also told the same thing by an Asian couple. That is so heartbreaking. I’ve also met with couples that said that they contacted many vendors and officiants and they never heard back, or were straight out told that they do not do same-sex weddings. I even had a straight couple with two masculine-sounding names tell me that this affected their wedding planning, which gave them the realization of how hard it could be for others. This is a real problem.

The representation of BBIPOC (Black, Indigenous and other People Of Colour) and LGBTQ+ people in the wedding industry is weak - and I know this because my clients have told me so, and that is the purpose of this post. They deserve inclusion. 

All weddings and people are equally important, but straight white couples are the majority of what make up social media posts and wedding blogs, and they are not the only ones getting married. Our clients take notice when they aren’t represented. 

Black people and LGBTQ+ couples live and love in our communities and they deserve to see themselves in the wedding industry. They deserve to be comfortable, appreciated and visible. We need to let them know that they are welcome and that their weddings are just as important as that of any other couple.

We need to do better for them.

Imagine getting engaged and being so excited, and then imagine looking at all of these websites for different vendors and not seeing another couple that looks like you. Would that make you feel welcome? Would you feel encouraged to inquire with those businesses? Imagine looking for officiants and being told that they do not support your love. How would you feel? 

We (White people and many wedding industry folks) can't really know. We are already represented everywhere we look. This is why I do not think that this lack of representation has been intentional. We have been blind to it because it has never been an issue for us.

The reverse side of this is tokenizing and virtue signalling.

“In a nutshell, tokenism is diversity on a superficial level without the inclusion part. It is in the absence of consistently making the effort to include people in underrepresented groups.”

An example of this is saying “I posted a photo of a Black bride once, so I’ve done my part”. 

The last thing we should do is post a photo of a BBIPOC or LGBTQ+ couple purely for the sake of marketing or wanting to seem “woke” or relevant.  That is not really helpful. It is not genuine. It doesn’t change anything.

What to consider in being an ally + diversifying your portfolio  :

1)  Don’t forget to keep this up when it feels like this BLM momentum’s slowing, which at some point it will, just like last time. This isn’t a “for now” issue. This isn’t even a BLM issue. It was an issue before and it will be an issue after. It’s just about letting potential clients know you will treat them the same and that you want their business too.

2) Create a safe space :  A safe space is basically an environment where people can feel free of judgement or harm. Many wedding vendors are BBIPOC and LGBTQ+ friendly, but if you don’t ever make any posts that suggest so, then clients will not know that. Many people do not assume that every business is a safe space for them.

3) Do it for the right reasons : Not so you can make more money or seem like a nice person, but because you actually care about people. It’s all about your intention. To be honest, I prefer to know what a business believes in, because I’d rather be working with or making purchases from people that I feel right doing so with.

4) Consider your client when posting a photo of one of your couples with a big caption about BLM or Pride Month. You may want to ask them if it’s okay. They are likely fine with it, but don’t assume. They did not hire you so that you could use their images for your own benefit, because whatever is posted on your business page is automatically going to relate to how you want to be seen and are, no matter your intention.

5) You don’t need to #blacklivesmatter on every photo of a Black couple that you post. That’s taking up space in the movements feed. Only do it if your photo has a message with it. You don’t need to try and racialize and politicize all of your posts. People just want to be seen as equal people.

6)  What if you live in a predominantly white area or haven’t shot many non-white couples? Do a styled shoot. Share the work of Black photographers on your instagram stories. Just let it be known that you recognize and support them. You don’t have to plaster it all over.

7)  Submit your multicultural and same-sex weddings to blogs. Many blogs have said that they do not get enough submissions of these kinds.

8 ) Take “bride” and “groom” out of your contracts and questionnaires and replace with something like Partner/Person 1, partner 2 etc. There’s nothing wrong with using the terms bride and groom on posts etc. but it doesn’t have to be your go-to language and will not always apply.

9 )  Acknowledge the places where you can do better.

10 ) Don’t be afraid. I know many vendors worry about what other people may think when they post an image of a BBIPOC or LGBTQ+ couple. There are a lot of uh…very conservative people… in Niagara and elsewhere. I actually worry for my clients. I am always constantly checking the comments when I post something like that because I know people can be mean and I’d hate for anyone to feel hurt by a stupid comment, but I won’t let it be a reason not to share those images. Honestly, if someone is mad that you posted a photo of an LGBTQ+ person, they are likely not your client anyway. Frankly, I would personally want nothing to do with them. Don’t let that impact your decisions.

None of this is new. The wedding industry obviously isn’t going to solve racism or homophobia. The roots go far beyond, but we all play a part as individuals and businesses in building a more inclusive and intersectional environment.

In the last week, many photography companies and groups have been outed as being racist or having racist admins. There have been so many deleted comments and photos related to BLM, using racist language, people who have been outed for *purposefully* white-washing their social media feeds.  It’s so shameful that this was even such an issue. Change is happening but there is always much more to be done.

Remember, as much as we are artists and creators, photographers are also playing the role of documentarian, but that doesn’t mean we have to be passive. We are in a unique position as visual storytellers to use our skills and platforms to share the messages that need to be shared, but we must also make space for Black artists to share their own stories.

 It starts with us. We ARE our businesses.

Love is love.


Here are some other resources and articles on this topic :

Anti-Racism Resources - for everyone

Bridal Musings Article

Real Life Stories - article for all

How To Avoid Tokenism in Weddings - great article for wedding vendors

”The goal should be intersection” - article for vendors